Blogging, Shogging and all that….

Recently there’s been a massive upsurge in the blogging world. Many ( when I say many I mean many ) people, have taken to blogging, and just like the Yahoo-Messenger, here too with so many people turning pro-bloggers ( !?! ), there’s bound to be a pop-up… Why Blog??? ( You didn’t get this naa… well twas expected… in y-mesg whenever someone comes online there’s a pop-up naa… so did ya get it NOW )

Yup, good question, BUT it comes with a catch, half the bloggers ( my Universe of Discourse is only our batch ) DO NOT know why they blog, or at least the reason, which they’ve got themselves to believe right is damn wrong. Most of us ( Maroo you’re not included ) blog just for the heck of it. Hell, most of us “bloggers” don’t even read other people’s blog properly ( Maroo you’re not included, again ).

So, why did I blog? Well the real reason’s that I want to quit blogging, and seeing that my previous blog took me just 5 mins to post ( it being a simple ^C + ^V case ), I thought why not have a “grand finale” of sorts and finish off in style ( not that I lack any ) …………..

PRRRRAAAAAHHHHH

Okay, so this is not the reason ( this is what I meant by people feeding stupid reasons to their brains to justify their acts……….. you will all pay for making me read your blogs… yeeeehahahaha ). The real reason’s simply an “I don’t know”. I really don’t know why I wrote this blog ( stupid though it sounds, esp. coming from me ). I just got up this morning, thought, heck every Tom, Dick and Harry ( I humbly apologize to Deepak Tijori for using the name of his super-hit blockbuster ) has begun writing blogs, why don’t I write one too.

Come to think of it, not all people “waste” times when writing blogs. Not everyone is as undedicated towards literary perfection in blogs, as me ( although most are ).

Some people actually blog to hone their literary skills ( Maroo, you’re finally included, plus people like Aniket and Saini… many more are still, I won’t name you all bhai ). Some people blog to share their “technical talent” ( or is it just to prove that we worthless folks don’t know anything ), esp. people like ( Somani, Kulbir, Maruti… and rest ). But the fact remains that more than half in our considered Universe of Discourse, don’t give a damn……… “aaj main blog likhunga”, and voila, we have a blog……well, you get the picture.

So, the point is, why do people blog at all? ( now my UoD is the whole world ). Is it because it acts as a release to all the stress accumulated? Or is it just another means of “time-pass” which will slowly lose its popularity?

Pah, who knows and who cares?

Koi nahin guys, keep on blogging….

Chak de phatte, nap de tilli

S’vere Jallandhar, Sham’e Dilli

Blogging shogging hayo rabba….

[                           AUTHOR’S NOTE

Hey, anyone who’s been patient enough to reach this point, pls right a comment regarding why you blog ( if you blog ), I really wanna know.

2. This most probably is my last blog, so Maroo pls don’t bother me.

3. Guys, I’m not a Maroo fan, the only reason why he’s been mentioned so many times is because when you think of blogging, his is the name that comes to your mind first.

4. Gals, I’m not a Maroo fan, the only reason why he’s been mentioned so many times is because when you think of blogging, his is the name that comes to your mind first…. Soooooo, I’m not gay AND I’m single… so contact me NOW

]

Why Geeks And Nerds Are Worth It…

People, before you go any further, let me make it very clear that this is NOT my blog. Someone else… a person named Craig has written it. I’ve copied it word-to-word.
( …… just so that I don’t land up with a plagiarism suit )

 

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are… plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such… but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and its raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra… all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models… They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo…”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind…”

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on…” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code… a geek can dream).

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce…

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps…

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.

 

[ Author’s Note

1. Okay, this is not my post… I just found it OR rather ‘stumbled’ across it and thought I’d better share it with everyone…
2. You’ve got to admit that this guy ( whoever he is ) is an awesome blogger…
3. Copyright © 2006 craigslist, inc. … Okay, so don’t sue me or anything, for plagiarism.

 

]

Act Nice, Gaurav !!!

“Can’t……… take it……… anymore”

Haven’t you EVER felt like that?

Haven’t you EVER felt the need to lash out at something, or someone?

Haven’t you EVER felt really, really, really MAD at someone?

If you haven’t ( wow ), you certainly are an ideal person……

BUT, many will agree with me that sometimes, lashing out can be, somewhat of a necessity. Sometimes, you are left with no other option other than balking out at the person who’s the epicenter of your hatred.

Haven’t you ( yes, even you, oh ideal being ) EVER felt anger, hate, rage and uncontrollable loathing, rise up in you, slowly but surely engulfing you in its dark claws?

Haven’t you EVER felt all the pent-up anger inside you, pushing hard to find a release?

Haven’t you EVER felt the need to free your mind, of all this darkness?

Well, I have.

I don’t, exactly, have an anger issue, BUT truth-be-told I’m not a ‘divine angel’ as well. I’ve a short-fuse, at least that’s what people tell me AND I get irritated at very-very small things.

BUT, I’ve learned to curb my anger to the minimum, but that too, is not possible always.

So, why get angry in the first place?

Why lose your cool?

Well, these are the questions that can best be answered only by some ‘baba’ or some motivational speaker; all I can garner is that, in our present society where we have to ‘Act Nice’ to everyone, we don’t get a proper ‘release’ to our anger. We, obviously, can’t channel our anger into creative areas ( some people, DO do that ), so all the anger, all the rage, gets bottled up inside, ever increasing its pressure on the individual.

The result, BAM, one day, all of a sudden, you burst out ( here I’m talking about explosive anger, not the implosive one ), decimating the person(s) in front of you, physically or emotionally ( with words, that aren’t very pleasant).

The other kind of people, me included, have an implosive anger burst. BAM, and you feel SO mad, that you want to break that person’s neck, but you don’t, instead, you go into a sulking period, a phase in which everything or everyone, becomes the object of your hatred ( loved one’s included ).

Well, this is what happens to me.

So, well the point I was trying to drive at, which got lost somewhere in between, was that we NEED to find a release to our anger. We NEED to NOT act nice every time with everyone.

Will that help, or will that complicate matters more, only time will tell. In the meantime…

“GET OUT OF MA FACE”

[ AUTHOR’S NOTE

Well, I finally found the release I was looking for…… blogging.

· Nothing better than a good, healthy (:P) blog to get rid of all the stress.

· Hey, people, really try bursting out at someone/something, once in a while, it’s really therapeutic… I’m serious

]

A Lexicon( :P ) of College Vocab

All you perennial geeks out there, who don’t even know, what your coll mates are saying, half the time, this one’s for you…

I’ll try and list as many coll slangs as I can, and TRY and explain them to the ‘general audience’. This list isn’t exhaustive and there are many more words which should have been included but weren’t because of various issues ( well, they weren’t exactly polite words )

Arbit :

Short for arbitrary. Not very common, but used none-the-less…

Usage : “… choose some arbit song yaar…”

‘Bond’ :

I’m not sure if this is used everywhere, but here in IIIT it’s a common name for all those guyz who’re top at wateva they do…

Usage : “… abe he topped again… the guy’s a genuine bond”

Chillax :

This one’s hell common… a mix of chill and relax… this word’s now on the brink of extinction.

Usage : “ chillax yaar, the assignment’s to be submitted tomorrow, kal kar lenge…”

…dah :

It’s some southy word, but it’s used to address someone… I’m not too sure, if it’s used as a respect or otherwise

Usage : “hey, gimme a treat dah, you got a new lappie, haven’t you…”

Disco :

Disciplinary Committee… a band of profs hard bent on screwing up the lives of the students…

Usage : “It’s the time to DisCo… ”

Fachchas :

First Year Bachchas… really simple isn’t it…

Usage : “this year the fachchas are really a fearless breed…”

Illad :

This one’s controversial… a term used for south-indians…

Usage : “the Buzzking’s a propah illad”

Katli :

This one’s a fav… used to describe just about anything that’s very good… a multi-purpose, sort-of, a word…

Usage : “ Gaurav: How’s net in the lab

Kiran : katli…”

Matke :

Matke… MTech Ke… get it……

Usage : Just say matke… why do you want a ‘usage’ here…

Non-Males :

Very, very controversial… used for ‘aunties’

Usage : no comments

Phatta :

A really, really bad joke…

Usage : “Gaurav: (says something)

People : PHATTA”

[ AUTHOR’S NOTE

1. As I mentioned earlier, the list is not exhaustive, there are many words which I couldn’t recall at the moment, most probably… I’ll have a continuation.
2. Finally I got a topic to blog on
3. Thankfully, this time the indentation wasn't screwed that much...
   

]

Scary House

I swear I’ll get even… swear it.

It all began, with Kaps coming up with an idea… “Let’s go to McDonald’s”, he said… and so we did. All of us got ready, and after one hour of traveling ( which includes, the 1km, which we had to cover on foot x-( ), we finally reached Prasad’s.

Gotta admit, though the place isn’t as good as other fast food joints, McD’s still rox.

After a great meal, we were just moving around the place ( Prasad’s, not McD’s… 4 u Jimmy… u like finding mistakes ), when someone, I think it was Rishi, asked me whether I’d been inside the ‘Scary House’ ( well, not a very good name, I admit ). Unsuspectingly I answered in the negative… then the whole thing started. He and Kapil started pestering me, asking me to go visit the place, I immediately realized that something’s wrong… but I still agreed to give it a try, with one condition, someone was to accompany me ( I really get scared a lot… have a very weak heart !! ). As Mahaveer too hadn’t seen the place, he agreed to come.

Then began the scare…

As soon as I entered, I knew that this was gonna be bad. All of a sudden, a person came from nowhere ( well, the place was dark, and he appeared all of a sudden, so what else am I supposed to say ), and that’s when I got my first scare. The scaredy cat, that I am, I didn’t even read the story of the mystery of the ‘scary house’. As we kept going, we encountered one ‘scare’ after another ( if, of course, you can call plastic hands and machine operated puppets, scary… well, to tell the truth, I got scared big-time ).

After, one or two, basic tricks, I finally SCREAMED when in the bed next to me, a ‘person’ got up and stared at me… after that, I didn’t even look sideways !!!

In all this time, Mahaveer was trying to act macho, but I know that he too was scared big-time. Yes Mahaveer, got ya!!!

Finally as the exit approached I relaxed a bit… bad mistake, in my haste to get out of the place, one of the ushers crept up on me and placed a hand on my shoulders… I SCREAMED so hard, that guy got more scared than me !!!

After that I just ran from the place, and when finally saw the exit I threw myself out, and breathed a HUGE sigh of relief…

I know the whole setup was pathetic, BUT I really hate scary stuff, and it doesn’t get any scarier than entering a dark place where people are intent on scaring the hell out of you…

[ AUTHOR’S NOTE

• I’ll get you two, Kapil and Rishi, just wait… I’ll have my time.
• Mahaveer, you still owe me 40 bucks, for the scare…
• Shit, I’m still scared………
• Hey people, Please Xcuse my grammatical errors, not just for this blog, but in general. When I write blogs… I just write them, as soon as get an idea, and just post them, without actually reading them and checking for errors… Muchos Gracias !

]

Why the Top Floor’s the Best

The obvious needs no explanation, yet since many seem to be under false impressions, I’ll list out a few points as to why the third floor in NBH is the best of the lot…
Here goes…

• Well, for one, we don have to face the stink dat comes from the lower floors ( EVERYONE uses d toilets dere.. phew !!! ), also, the top floor’s quite well ventilated… so no stink probs, thankfully
• Dere’s no noise probs, every1 can ‘njoi music or wateva, in peace… otherwise ppl moving about cause a lot of disturbance. Also, we’re as far from the TV room as can be… so no distractions.
• No one keeps comin to our rooms, so that’s also a plus, no body to bother us.
• The stairs, provide us a daily compulsory exercise, no need to go to the gym, like some few who do…
• No net probs… well dere is but compared to other floors, we are still considerably well off
• No BLN to disturb us, even if we were to have a party…
• Simply, b’coz of ME !!!

[ AUTHOR’S NOTE

• To tell the truth, I dint wanna write this blog… I was told to do so by Golu, so he’s responsible..
• BUT, none of the above pts are fiction, I’ve adhered to nothing but the strictest of truths……
• I forgot 2 mention d fact… that Buzzking also resides in the 3rd floor…

]

The Last Time I Checked I Was Sane….

ITWS III :

“You are expected to submit this assignment by Monday in the Lab, it’s just a simple implementation of CGI, and it should be easy enough…”

Maths III:

“…isdatokay, youhavefivequestionsandyoushouldsubmittheassignmentbytuesday… isdatokay”

Operating Systems:

“You don’t have to submit the theory assignment (smiles), but 70% of the questions in the mid-sems will be from the assignments, so it is expected that you complete them (smiles)… Of course, the lab assignments will be evaluate and 50% weightage is attached to the same (smiles…… again !!!)”

Signals and Systems:

“THE ASSIGNMENT IS TO BE NOTED DOWN, I’LL ALSO BE SENDING A SOFT COPY TO THE UG2 MAIL ID. IT IS TO BE SUBMITTED BY THE COMING TUESDAY, THE QUESTIONS ARE VERY SIMPLE, AND I HAVE FAITHFULLY FOLLOWED THE BOOK…”

English Literature:

“I expect all of you to write the gist of the story, explaining the setting, the characters involved, the narration, the effect it had on you and any extensions to the story, in a very clear and concise manner, to be submitted by the next class, ie, on Tuesday’

Well, if you’d been keeping count, you would have found that I have 4 assignments pending till Tuesday, and today’s Monday, AND I’ve done only 1… hehehe.

But, I’m not gonna talk about my procrastinating efficiency, no, the point I really want to put forth is, WHY ASSIGNMENTS ???

Twelve years, twelve valuable years of my life, were spent in trying to please people ( read family, relatives and friends ) by studying hard and getting good marks ( not that I tried ), with the only silver lining being the distant hope that someday, when I finish my school, I’ll have a better life and probably, do more in life than I did in these twelve years. I really believed, I swear I did, that college life is gonna be all fun and no work…… Yeah, Right.

Cut to the present… assignments, assignments and more assignments. Not that it’s the assignments that’s a problem, no, in fact, it’s the assignment deadlines that really bother me !!! Just give us the frigging assignment and safely assume that we’ll do it sincerely and with complete honesty ( cross my heart, I’ve no such intention ).

Oh no, that’s not all, with the assignments are attached weightages, oh the misery. Not only do we have to submit the assignments by the proper deadline, but we also have to keep in mind the fact, that these marks will be considered by the end of the semester.

Well, assignments are just one-half of a normal collegian’s ( read IIITian’s, dunno bout other colls ) misery, the other half is more than filled by the workload. Our brains our stuffed, with things which we hardly care to remember, or if we do, can’t because of the sheer quantity of materials. On top of that, we are expected to vomit out all that we swallowed in the mid-sems knowing that there’s still more to come…

So where does the actual, “college-life full of joy”, come into play. All that I’m full of is deep, deep regret, for wasting my childhood, in the hope that someday I’ll have ‘fun’ in college…

Ah, a lifetime wasted……

The last time I checked I was sane, dunno how long I’ll last………

[ Author's Note

“We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey teacher leave them kids alone
All in all it's just another brick in the wall
All in all you're just another brick in the wall”

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yaar, what's with wordpress, it jus ruins all the indentation...

]

Water, Water Everywhere……

 

Okay, so this is another one of my rants. Ah, so what does Gaurav hate now? Well, frankly speaking, apart from the extreme cold weather, heavy rains, the fact that my room gets flooded after every half-an-hour, and overtly excessive rains ( well you get the picture )………… everything else is just fine.

 

At the moment what I want is to get my hands on the neck of ‘Belan’ ( unfortunately I can’t name him, but all you IIITians will know who I’m talking about ) and kick him at such a place, even sitting will be a problem thereafter… Not only is the person concerned credited with giving me the worst room, in all of IIIT, but also, as soon as I even tried, to take a new room, which at that time was free, he gives it to someone else and sends his ‘goons’ to ask me to vacate the room ( the a*******).

 

What did you say? How bad can it be?

Well, not much, just imagine, that every-time it rains, regardless of whether the window is open or not, your room floods ( yes, I’ve deliberately used the word ), how would it feel then? As it is, the room’s jam-packed, and now this problem comes up…… Oh, and wait it’s not over yet… try and imagine where the water comes from. Not from the window, certainly not from underneath the door, oh no, but from the walls ( yes, you heard me right ) The walls of my room are completely wet, and water continuously trickles at such a rate that 15 mins, after cleaning my room I found is exactly as wet as it was before.

See, I don’t have any problem with the rain, oh no… let it rain as much as it wants, but this water in my room is causing me a lot of headaches…

Just imagine, I’ve had to Personally mop my room twice ( and Pankaj has taken pics as well… oh the shame! oh the ignominy! ). Just hope that this rain stops OR at least the problem gets resolved…

Okay, I won’t bore you any further, you’re free to go…………

 

[ Author’s Note

1. This is fact… I am not cribbing just to have an interesting read… every word I said is true… believe it or not
2. I really want to kick Belan’s butt……
3. Unfortunately, I really like this section and I won’t let go, like it or not…

]

Pure Me…

Okay, this blog, as the name very aptly suggests, is purely about me. That’s right me, Gaurav Kharkwal. This is not a narcissistic work, glorifying my achievements till date… no. It’s actually meant for those, who:

• Don’t like me…
• Know me, but could never quite understand…
• Are my friends, but still find me confusing…
• Any one else, having free time and nothing better to do……

 

 

Before I begin, let me make it clear, I’ll not be mentioning names… so if anyone is to think, that [s]he’s been mentioned in a not-so-friendly manner ( although I’ll try not to publish any malice )… it’s most probably a whim, but even then I apologize.

 

So let’s start…

I’ve been an army-kid… all those who don’t understand, my father is in the army, and I’ve spent most of my life shifting from one place to another. Many find that nice… well, not me, living like a nomad isn’t exactly very pleasant. The worst thing about it all is friends… or lack of it. Most people would think, after living in so many places, one’s bound to make many friends. Well one does meet people and does make many acquaintances… but believe me, friends… uh-uh… till date I have very few people whom I can really turn to, and call friends. Another thing that living as an army kid’s taught me is never to get emotionally attached to any one person, so that when I leave the place, and them, I don’t feel bad ( well I still do, but not that much ) Come what may, life goes on… that’s my philosophy in life……BUT it does get painful sometimes.

 

I’ve been to so many places, moved around in every direction, pointed towards by the compass, and I’ve learned that there’s nothing better than living in one place, with the same friends, studying in the same school, going to the same places to have fun, ahhhhhh that’s life !!! Of all the places I’ve been to, I’ve really liked Shillong, where I met my first ‘good friend’ ( I don’t even know where he is now, get the picture? ). The other place I liked… well not the place, but the people I met there… was Allahabad. Made really great friends, there… ( I’ve found most of them, thanks to orkut )

 

When you are in the army, you know that after some 3 or 4 years, you’ll have to move to a different. You go to a place, it takes nearly a year to get acclimatized, then another to make friends, and by the time you make real neat friends, you get transferred to another place, where you’ll have to repeat the same ordeal……… After some time, one feels, ‘to hell with it all’… Get what I’m saying??

 

I’ve been cribbing about life as an army kid, but it’s not all that bad…… really, believe me. Even with the few friends I’ve made, I’ve had great fun. Life in army cantt’s what made me the kind of person I’m now. I’ve had great fun, enjoying endless parties, living life king-size !!!

 

Okay, so now I’ll move to the next part of the blog….

Psycho-analysis of Gaurav Kharkwal……

 

All that I’ve been able to garner from 18yrs of ‘self-study’ ( thank you, Jeevan Vidya ) is that, I, for one, don’t know how to express my feelings. It’s true… I’m not able to convey my true feelings to people I really like/love… like my parents, my sister, my relations AND of course, my friends. I’d like to use this space to tell you all, how much I should have said and didn’t… I Really Love You Guyz ( nd Gals… not biased, that’s me ) it’s just that I don’t say it or show it properly… hope you understand, it’s just me and I can’t really change myself.

 

I tend to take those whom I like OR who are my true friends, for granted. I don’t regard their feelings, and sometimes I really hurt them emotionally. I’ve been a real pain to many of my friends, ( and ma family ) just because of that, BUT I don’t really try to make anyone feel bad, intentionally. I’ll try and change myself, but it’s easier said than done… believe me, I’ve tried it many times . I’d like to apologize to all those whom I’ve hurt in any way…ever… I’m Really Sorry People.

 

Before I close this blog, I’ll just clarify a common misconception about me… many people think that I’m never serious… well, I am serious, I just don’t show it… don’t be fooled by my outer appearance, I act the way I do, just to keep my true feelings hidden. It’s my belief, that a person should always be ( or if not, at least just appear to be ) happy. Why share grief, when happiness’s cheaper… right? Any ways, just correct me if I’m wrong. Okay, coming to that, very few people know, but I’m really open to suggestions and criticism. As long as people aren’t overtly critical, I’m welcome to any suggestion on how to improve as a person… arey…it’s the truth…

 

So that’s it… I’ve said quite a lot about myself… hopefully now you’ll see me in a better light.

 

[ Author’s Note

 

1. This work’s real special to me. I’ve always wanted to speak about myself . No but seriously, I’ve spent a long time involved with this work… hope you like it.
2. Although, I don’t mind, but comments on this one, will be really appreciated.
3. I’ve spent a long time on this… but some typos may have crept in, so pls forgive me… even Mona Lisa’s not perfect….

 

]

DIE……

“Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha”

 

Meet James D’Cunha a movie buff, he really likes watching movies, especially scary movies. Even as we speak he’s watching a movie, a scary one too, at that ( well not quite scary… you can hear him laugh, can’t you? ). Oh dear, looks like he’s forgot… he wanted to go to the screening of ‘Die….’ he’ll be late. Come on James, look at the clock…

 

“Oh Shit, I’m late…”

 

It looks like he’s heard us.

 

“Momma…… Momma, where are you? Give me money, I’ve gotta go to the movie screening… Momma, are you listening…”

 

Still a momma’s boy, naa.

 

“What is it James?”

“Momma I want money for the movie screening”

“Here… by the way, isn’t it a bit too late? You’ll miss the start”

“Oh no, I won’t I’ll take the shortcut through the graveyard”

“Pagal ho gaya hai kya!!! Are you crazy… aaj amavasya hai…… nahin, I won’t let you go through the graveyard”

“C’mon maa, I’m grown up now… and what’s with amavasya… it comes every month naa”

“Well today’s Friday, the 13^th as well”

“So what, c’mon maa, I’m getting late”

“No James, you won’t go thru the graveyard”

“WHY???”

“Because today, witches come out………

……… today witches come out. One can hear their wails… and if one was to see one, he doesn’t survive… please swear on me that you won’t go”

“Okay, okay I won’t go thru the graveyard… happy”

 

Ah, so finally he goes to his movie… looks like he’ll get late. Or is he?

Uh, oh… looks like he didn’t take his mother seriously… he seems to be heading directly towards the graveyard.

Oh, the stillness… oh, the darkness… is everything going to be okay? Let’s see…

 

“What the hell… witches that’s rich… next thing you know, she’ll be talking about, demons… dragons… and other shit… oops I’ve got to mind my language, the witches might get upset… hehehe… sorry bitches”

 

Oh dear, looks like he’s really lost his mind. Just look at him desecrating the graves… Oh the stillness… something just doesn’t feel right… Oh my…

 

“Ah, what’s this, a fresh grave… what’s the name… Priya D’Souza… oh dear, just 18 years old… tch, tch so sad… so is she the witch… might be… hehehe… ma’am are you a witch?… Hey I asked you a question, ANSWER”

 

C’mon James… don’t do that… oh look, he’s urinating on the grave… this is just not right…

 

“Oye… I’ll get late for the movie”

 

So he finally reaches the theater…

 

( 3 hrs. later )

 

“Abe sale, what a movie… scared my pants off… hey auto… oh shit!!”, “chal I’ll walk, what’s the big deal, as it is I have to lose weight… hehehe”

“Shall I go through the graveyard?? … Oh, what’s the hey I’ll go through it, yaar, maybe I’ll meet a witch… heh”

This just doesn’t look good… it’s become darker… the wind’s blowing… oh my, oh my.

“What’s wrong with this place… it looks real weird, must be the movie… really scared me… yup, that must be it… nothing’s wrong with this place… it’s just me… relax… right, just relax… okay I’m relaxed, it’s only 500 m real easy… yes, yes it’s real easy…… HEY, what’s that… what was that noise?”

 

Yes, now starts the fun… did you see him jolt… now he’ll know what happens when you disrespect the dead… ha ha ha. Run, James, Run… you’re going to die…

 

“Unbelievable… the whole place seems to have changed, why there’s so much silence… ah, here’s Priya… hi Priya… have you changed into a witch yet… hehehe… Hey, who’s there… who’s there, who’s following me”

 

Wooooohhhhhhsssssshhhhhh!!!!

 

“Who’s that… who’s making that nice… sale bahar nikal”

 

Wwwwooooooohhhhssshhhh

 

“Wh… wh… who’s there…. Show yourself… this is not right… aaaahhhhh!!!!”

 

Ha ha ha… can you see him run… the fatso… Run, James, Run… you’re gonna die real soon… Ha ha ha!!!

 

“Help, help me… please someone… there’s something here… PLEASE”

 

Whhhhoooooossssshhhhhhh

Wwwwooooooooooooooyyyyyoooooooooo

Ha ha, he’s tripped, the fatso… hahaha

 

“No, no please… get away from me… please leave me…”

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME HERE, HA HA HA”

 

Ah, he’s got up has he… run, run as much as you can….

 

“<huuuhhh> Ah, ah…<huuuhhhh>.. there’s…. the … gate…”

 

Finally he’s made it to the gate. Ah, so he’s got out… good for you James you’ve survived… maybe some other day…

 

“Yes…..< huuuuhhh>… yes… finally made it… ha, go screw off, bloody witches”

 

Ohhh… so is that it…

 

“What, did anyone say anything… is anyone there…” ( turns )

“HaaaAAAAAAA”

 

The human heart is the most sophisticated organ in the whole human body, it pumps blood throughout the body, a marvel of God’s engineering skills, a delicate one though, stops very, very easily. Just scare the person real bad, and chances are his heart might stop, hmph…

 

(Next Day)

 

Hey, what’s this commotion… oh looks like the cops are here… let’s see what they have to say…

 

“Hey, Al what did the Doc say…”

“Nothing much, said the man’s heart stopped… must be a heart attack”

“What did the locals say?”

“Nothing much, last night the wind was blowing very hard… most of them said… the sound of wind rustling the trees was real loud. One of them heard someone scream, but he thought it was just the local pariah, it was injured yesterday morning and was crying the whole night.”

“Hmm… anything else?”

“Well, the locals agreed that with the new-moon, the crying made by the dog and the wind through trees… the night was a real scary one, anyone out there must be real crazy….”

“Yup, gotta agree with you, by the way… what’s with this poster of this witch… even in this daylight it’s really scaring the hell out of me!!!”

“Well it’s just a promotional poster for the new movie… Die… I think that’s the name… well this guy, should have known… in his pocket we found a ticket to the same movie”…………

 

And with that we move away from the place… Well James is in a better place now… don’t worry about him… Just remember, never disrespect the dead… who knows when you’ll be meeting them……………

 

 

 

[ Author’s Note

This one’s ma 2^nd story… hopefully this one u’ll like more than the previous.

2. Achcha, btw this story’s not original, I’ve copied from “Darna Zaroori Hai”… No plagiarism suits, dah!!!

3. Forgive any typos…

4. Love you guys… you’ve been too kind ]